I Made it to Eastman, Quebec

            How's that for a corn 🌽 maze

Was an early getup, Polly was awake at 3am too, shower, and good bye, and Uber to the airport. There at 4am. Airports are so darn big, from the entrance gat where they check you over to the flair gate I was leaving out of was a long walk. I often plan where I'm going when driving, from now on I'm going to do same in and airport. Walked all the way to my gate to find out I had to travel back 1/2 way to get a coffee and a bagel. 

Was not too bad, I had lots of time yet. I sat at a small round table in front of the cookie shop as it was called, the coffee ☕ was just as I liked it, Mmm 😋 I watched people rush by dragging there bags, some tight and organized some dragging a bag with no wheels, was interesting sight as I enjoyed the warm toasty cheese bagel w cream cheese. A comfortable feeling, having much time before my flight left. 

After finishing the bagel and 1/2 my coffee I started back to my gate, as I walked again I'm watching people, rush, and scurry, feeling comfortable knowing exactly where I was headed. As I approached the gate I realized the seat's we're all taken now, I looked around and saw an even better seat, and nobody on it, so I climbed up a couple stars, and ahh, I'm seated above the croud, and comfortable. 

This seat was just like I remembered, soft, and warm, not like when skiing, but did feel the same. I asked a woman standing if she would take a photo, she was happy to. Funny how a small thing like this feal just so good. 

After awhile a man and his nefew joined me, we talked, he was very interesting, a Columbian, rased in LA, that went to university in Montreal, and now traveling for his business all over. His nefew just arrived 2 weeks ago, Art is his name, he's 21, I asked him how long you here for, he shrugged, not sure. I'm sure you've never skied before, no he said, I said you have to try snowboarding, yes he smiled, he said he'd like to. 

We talked and got to know each other for the next while till the flight lines started, and people bunched up, we waited in our seats above the crowd till the line got Small, then we hopped down. Just before I asked another woman to take our photo, she was happy to. 

     Cool dudes on a chair lift at the airport 😁

Now we load, I'm at the very back, as I passed Art, he said, nice to meet you Brent, I said same. Was a very good start to my trip.

It's just starting to get light here, I don't have enough time to finish this, will add more in my next post, I want to load the trailer on the truck and get going. 

Just know I had a great flight, and dinner with Cat, River and there family last night was really good. ♥️🤗

Chris is doing good

     Not sure what this is, I liked the shadow's 

What to say when asked, how's Chris? Chris is doing good. Nothing much changed really, he has the tube out of his mouth, now a tube at the base of his throat. A Trach tube. I'm told by the respiratory nurse that it is a real nice job they did, looks good. Chris is now initiating the breathing, but the machine is still breathing for him. 

When they wake him and ask him to open his eyes he's not responding as well as when his medication was greatly reduced. I'm hoping they get back to the lower medication, and he is more responsive again. I'm told they are trying to reduce the propofol, and give him  another medication to keep him calm. When he wakes he gets agitated, this hasn't changed. 

Polly and I went shopping yesterday, Safeway is a 20 min or so walk, not to bad going, but coming home our harm's grew in length lol.

Days are cool, but warmer that it was. I leave tomorrow for Quebec, to move the trailer, not the usual anticipation. Usually we are excited, and looking forward, this is just different. Polly says to me yesterday, maybe this be good for me, just away for awhile will help. Will see.

I find myself taking a few more photos, that's an improvement, I was seeing things before, but just didn't have the desire to pull out the phone. University campus is a big place, and so far to get to everywhere. We have adapted, but next step is taking the bus we are thinking. A very good bus and metro system here, haven't used it yet, no reason yet. 

As time goes on we likely will. Feeling this is going to take longer that I hoped, or thought. 

Preparation for a longer stay is where we are now. As a friend just told me, "get some winter 🥶 clothes" I will be bringing some back when at the trailer, but boots we are going to have to buy. 

The nurse this morning said "you might want to think about after he leaves here, and plan more time then, as now there is lots of support" I Never really thought too far ahead, I'm thinking Chris will be ok after a few more weeks, but I am starting to think be a long time now. 

I just can't not be here now, I just couldn't continue along our merry way, while he's in here, like this. Polly support's this line of thought too, but as time goes we will be able to see how Chris does. Patients is tested here, to the limit. 

A little numb this morning, but positive. 

I remember a saying "This to shall pass" 

I'm going to keep this in mind today.

Shift change about to happen, I'm learning to leave at this time, they have enough to think about without dancing around me in the middle of there checking up. 

Tim Hortons has been a nice place to step into at this time. 🤗❤️

As we wait and watch

The sun comes and goes, night falls while we watch and wait. The smallest bit of action gives us hope or despair, never know what's coming. I hear my wife's lovely "Morning" as she comes into the ICU wishing everyone well with her bright happy Aura. I'm a lucky man to be with such a wonderful person. 

The room where Chris is has a material blind on the full length window that looks towards the nurse's station, this window has an 6' sliding window door, today the curtains pulled shut, makes for privacy for me and Chris.

 Polly is on the other side now getting her cover on and gloves and face screen, soon she'll be in the room with us. Here she is with the skeleton dog she won at dinner the other night at Sherlock Holmes pub across the street from the hospital. Was a fun time as there was poker music trivia, Polly won, so she picked her skeleton dog for a prize 

     Then I won too so I picked $5.00 gift card

Was fun, and now is in Chris's room till a nurse says no! I snuck it in says Polly 

The nurse today is Angel 😇, always think her name is so appropriate, she was his nurse when we first saw him here 2 weeks ago. 

That was on a Friday night, today is Friday, dayshift, always busy, and full of talk and actions here today. Many times the nurse's have more than one patient at a time here, now in a private room it's harder for them to watch other patients and see and deal with Chris, but they do, and do this good. A very good bunch of people here. 

We thank them often, and are so very happy Chris has such good care. A round of Tim Hortons gift cards was well received when we thanked the nurses after a couple days, I'm thinking we going to need another round soon. 

I saw a video today of a man doing visual arts, he had a set of stairs beside a trampoline, as he walked up the stairs he would fall of the side of the stairs, then onto the trampoline, and bounce back to the stairs, walk up 1-2 stairs, and fall again, sometimes going up the stairs, and sometimes going down. This is what life's like, and here in this situation, I see this even more, we can be up feeling good, then down the next minute, then up and down. 

That's life, and in times like this it's just magnified, and continuess. 

Polly and I do take care of ourselves by going out to dinner, and once in awhile take in Polly's desire, the Casino. This is our out night now, just a night away for the hospital last night was good. 

Sometimes I look at Chris, so calm and relaxed like now, and think why am I so upset, he's ok. But until I see him the way I remember him, the way I know he is I'll be on edge, just right now I feel just a little less on edge, for this immediate moment. 

Fridays sure have changed 😉

We have so much support, family and friends all binging us with Love ❤️🤗

What more can we ask for, 🤗🤗❤️❤️

Plans, Procedure & Patience

     The view out Chris's window he can't see 

Planning so far has just been planning, some of it will happen today, Chris will have a Tracheotomy, this will allow removal of the tube from his mouth down his throat, and is next step in getting him more aware and awake. He is opening his eyes intermittently now, and trying to wake in small bits, but until this trach is in they keep him sedated. 

I didn't know how I was feeling about this, but just had a good conversation with Alex, his nurse in the morning, she explained the procedure. This helps as I imagine a big hole in his throat, she reassured me it was a small slit, then the trach tube is installed. This means he will as time goes on be able to breath on his own sometimes and talk in the future, and best part, after they reduce the sedation, he'll be more aware and awake, so we can communicate. This is when they can determine his brain damages, if any. 

That's planning #1

On another front, I'm flying back to Montreal, get our truck and drive to Eastman and pack up the trailer ready to travel. Catherine our friend there offerd dinner, so that'll be nice, and be able to say goodbye to her River, and her parents. 

I'll sleep in the trailer, and early get up, and travel for 2 day's to Chesapeake, Virginia to store our trailer south till we are able to travel again. We had a friend reach out to us after my last post about wanting to head south, offered to help with a place to stay, and parking our pickup, and sent me a link to a storage place close for our trailer. What a great offer, we are very fortunate. Thanks Christy & Duane. 

This will happen starting Monday with the flight. I booked another flight back for November 4th, allowing another day just in case. So that's a big plan for me. Polly will hold down the fort here, and Ciara will come be with her after Halloween 🎃 till I return. Always want Chris to have someone here. 

Next we have to work on is something better for a longer term stay, not knowing right now how long, we want to be a little more comfortable, with cooking 🍳 ability. Would like it close, but not likely getting as close as we are now. That's a job I'm working on, who knows what might come? Options open, and optimistic is my motto. 

If we are farther then will get a vehicle, that be good, but I'd rather be close, is nice like today, when I wake early, I can just walk over to the hospital. I'm going to talk with the manager of the hotel we are in see what might come?

The fact that we just don't know how Chris will be when fully aware and awake, this is an unknown until the trach is in and they work on having less sedation in him. Then we will have a better idea. 

In the mean time we still have the waiting.

Hopeful, optimistic, positive 🤗❤️

Monday morning, the machine starts up again.

This was a nice start yesterday morning as I got to the top of the steps coming up from our hotel, they moved to get there, then after I stood for a minute they started eating again, they seem not afraid. I'm thinking they are in the process of turning white for the winter. 

MRSA, this is what we are told now is the kind of lung infection Chris has, he's now got a brain injury he's healing from and a lung infection that talking with the nurses is expected in ICU. I have yet to look it up, but Polly did yesterday, and said "This is not good". I'm feeling like the whole dam thing is not good, but one step at a time. 

Today up early, had another good sleep, dinner last night was basic, but Polly always knows how to jazz it up a little, even with not much in a hotel room. Polly bought a couple salads macaroni and potato, that made the steak sandwich dinner better. We're going to be eating steak sandwiches for a little while yet, the leftovers from Saturday night, Mmm 😋

Monday is when the head Dr for ICU changes, a new Dr makes me wonder what will be next. A new week, and coming at the end of the graveyard shift it's quiet, and I get a good explanation from the nurse. Chris is opening one eye when they wake him, he was hard to wake yesterday I say, I thought he was heavier medicated, the nurse agreed. Propafol was at 50mg and other nurses before had him down to 40mg or less. He reacts good, just gets moving too much, so have to be careful to get him back to sleep quickly. 

They turned him just as I came in the room, and not a problem with where I was sitting. On dayshift during the week, always kick us out of the room. Such a difference when all the brass around. No different that when I was at work in the mill, everybody on edge during the dayshift, too many chiefs as we put it. 

I forget that this blog we started when we started to travel was about the travel, and now is about our stop 🛑 here in Edmonton. I say to myself it's ok, it's all part of our life.

As for the travel, I'm planning to return to Montreal on Oct 31, morning early, and get the trailer ready to go, I'll arrive in Montreal at noon will drive 11/2 hr to Eastman and get the trailer ready to go. Next morning will head south towards a warmer place to leave the trailer, I don't want it snowed in north, and we still have no idea how long before Chris wakes, or his condition once he does. 

I haven't booked a place yet, I'm waiting to see how this week goes with Chris, but I'm looking. Below New York for sure, but not too far. Carolina I'm thinking, I'll call around today. Close to a city to fly out of back to Canada. 

That's one part done, then we will be looking for more permanent place to stay here, as the hotel will get to be less enjoyable as time goes on, Polly likes to be busy, and cooking is her game. Oh, I I really like that, as I'm a good eater lol. All in planning now, Ciara may join us then, as she will want a place to bring the kids with her later, if there allowed to come see Chris. Maybe even if not, just come spend time with us. Will see how this goes. 

All planning, no go yet, but have to plan, just incase plans. 

Car? Distance from hospital? Size of place? Is it completely furnished, is there stuff in the kitchen? So much to think of. 

So that's the travel part now, get ready for some Edmonton travel, not to exciting here, but if we stay long term it will be different.

Chris is moving more now, but still sedated and no open eyed look. They are giving him less drugs, hopefully they wake him this week. Fingers crossed 🤞

🤗❤️

Cool Sunday Morning here in Edmonton

All I think as I walk to Tim Hortons across the street from the hospital is how lucky we are here not snow like Calgary. 35cm is what I read Calgary got, we just got cold, so far. 

I woke early today, and felt wide awake, and ready to go. At 5:30am, walking to the hospital from our hotel, was a good feeling. As I rounded the corner towards the hospital front door there was a person in the street yelling out, hey you hey! Hey! I just keep walking, then a truck stops, and the person yelled out "fuck you, I don't want a truck" and I keep walking. I'm sure the person was looking for conflict, I wasn't having and part of this. I never really looked back, just rounded the corner again, and through the parking lot, and into the hospital. 

Now it was warm, my glasses fogged up, the guy that gives you a mask, and makes sure if you've been in today and have a sticker saying you have been in on this day as a visitor days, "wash your hands" there is a guard there too, asking if the visitor sticker is from today. Feeling like the checkpoint inspection here today.  I walk away with a new mask, as they carry on there conversation like I didn't even pass. 

Now my nose starts, as a woman is tailgating me to the bathroom, I stopped, she passes, feeling odd how this all goes down. I blow my nose after I remove my mask, take my glasses off let them defog, then put it all back on. 

Now to the elevator, I push the button that was smashed out a few nights ago. Bing, and it's ready right away. The inside looks a little dirty, the stainless, and the floor. Elevators here work so darn good here. As I assend I think, always thinking. What's next, we are all thinking what's next.

I approach the phone with the number posted in big numbers 570, I'll never forget now. I call, and the charge nurse says can I help you, yes I say I'd like to see Chris Browning, give me a sec, and the phone goes down. Off the person goes, to find out if it's ok with Chris nurse. 

Ok come in I hear, I push the big button on the wall and the double doors open, I walk in looking at a very quiet ICU. Graveyard shift always quiet early, 5am, so nice I say. 

As I approached Chris I talked with Stephen, who was his nurse last night, all night. 12 hour shifts. He tells me he has a bit of a temperature, so they have ice packs on him, they have a special antibiotic going into him, due to the kind of pneumonia he has. He had a problem with the tube not being in far enough last night, but all good now. Although still making some pain like faces, he's more comfortable. 

I dress in the gown, gloves, face protection, and go in to see him, and touch his arm, and say hi Chris, I'm here, I Love you ❤️🤗 I never know if he hears, but I still say it, we all do. I brought my razor to shave him a little again, is ok with the nurse. Is different as the tube, and hook-up is in the way for getting to some of his face. I did my best, got one side done. 

Next I ask about the tube, it's crooked on his face, and down on his lip. The nurse adjusts it, but doesn't last, the breathing group will deal with it later he says.  

Feeling good right now, but not long later my feeling changes, so off to Tim Hortons for a coffee ☕ and a muffin. I have a chat with the guy next to me there, kept my mind off it till he asks, then explain a little to him, and I get a call from Polly, she be coming over soon. Ciara messaged, she be on her way soon too. 

Back I go again, the new mask, and check I been here before? what ward are you going to? I passed the test. Up the elevator again, and down the hall, Ciara is there already, says have to wait a few minutes, they are turning him. From side to side every couple hours, making sure ho bed sores. 

We tak awhile and Polly shows up, Ciara has an appointment with her uncle at Tim Hortons for a visit, so Polly and I go in together. 

That how a day goes, a little at a time in hospital, and out. 

Last night Polly's Cousin Juliette and her husband Gerome, along with Bobby Polly's other cousin came to get us for dinner, Julie had made the reservation awhile ago, and invited us, she invited Ciara too, but Ciara was not good today, she stayed for Chris. 

Was a fun ride there in Bobby's avalanche truck, Julie telling Bobby this way that way, and Bobby doing just what he thought was right. We got to the great Canadian Brew house right on time, was very few people there then, just right.

Drinks and talk for an hour, then our steak's arrived, holly crap, huge steaks. One plat was got for 2-3 but we each had one, except for Julie. 

I sent a message to Ciara, later when the bar filled up. Was a good crowd, steak's we great, only at a small portion, but was really nice of Juliette and Greome to take us out. ❤️🤗

At the end of our dinner Julie ordered Ciara's Perogie dinner,

and we came home Polly to the hotel, I went to the hospital with Ciara's dinner. Ciara was upset, the nurse's had Chris breathing at a faster that normal rate, and he wasn't doing good, but when I got there his condition had changed, but Ciara was still upset. She told me what happened, and how the nurses seemed inexperienced, and didn't know what to do. 

When we got in to see Chris I said the guy he had as a nurse was good in my opinion, but he didn't see or realize the tube that goes in his lungs was not in correctly. Once the tube was inserted more, and a kink in the line was changed Chris calmed down. Ciara was not happy with his treatment earlier.

On we go, Ciara stayed a little longer, I went home full of steak. Was a nice night, and Chris is continually changing. We are adapting best we can. That's how this goes, a step seems ahead, then 1 back. Just how life goes. 

We have best treatment, and best Drs, Nurse's, and Hospital. Now to heal and move to next treatment. 

 

Please give the nurses another 20 minutes

         A rainy day today, but it feels good

I'm in the waiting room again, getting used to the answer, "another 20 minutes" I have a way to deal with it, I'll write then I think. I'm sure he's fine, still. Woke later today, was good, I needed the extra sleep. Polly was awake already, we talked, she got me a coffee ☕ was nice for a short time to be together, and not tired. Penny was on the bing, Bing Bing of messenger, she talked with me there, we been talking there alot.

Another day waiting, always positive, and with something to look forward to. Ciara called just now, she's gassed up and on her way, will see her in about 4-5 hrs. 

How things change, I'm back in his room after my first request learning that his breathing machine is being changed, I tell them it seems like going backwards, more machines instead of less. They inform me this is the normal after 1week in, so not a problem, no real difference. I tell them it feels like going backwards. Trying to be positive is not easy when seems like instead of getting off machine getting another. 

Now another change, as the curtains are pulled all around and the nurse informs me that we will have to wear gown, visor, glove's saying now he has a "super bug" what the heck, how does this happen so fast, I'm sitting with him like yesterday, and all the sudden, I'm going to have to gown and glove and shield. Then I just get in behind the curtain, which is open about 4' where the bins to take your stuff off at are, and I sit down talk with Chris about 5 minutes, and the nurse says we going to turn him, please could you go stand by the window. Yes I can, no prob so I go there, just behind Chris where until now they had as a storage area, all empty now. As I look out the window I wonder, what's next. I turn around to look, and the nurse says, "please turn and look out the window" ok now what? I ask can I use my phone? She says yes, but we will have to clean it when you leave. 

I call Polly, I texted her earlier when I went to the bathroom, I talk as they turn him, and try not to talk to loud. I'm not happy with this, I'm actually kinda pissed, but what can I do? Just seems re-dic-u-less! One moment I'm ok to be visiting normal, next most uncomfortable and why? Protacall is what I'm told. I'll find out more as time goes. I don't get it. What really changed, and how can this skirt around Chris stop the bug? I just don't get it. So I type here.

The nurse says I can visit again, come out of the corner, I walk out and move the chair beside Chris, I sit and hold his arm, I try to be positive, but this is crappy. With gloves on it feels impersonal, with the face screen it's reflective, and as I look up I see glare from behind me, my glasses are not easy to adjust now, my tears are hard to wipe, glad I'm not crying right now. I worry how Ciara will feel, how she will deal with this "new normal" case it doesn't feel normal. 

I talk with Chris but with the shield it feels like all the sound comes back to me. Despondent is how I feel now. Where did this bug come from? Did he Catch it from the next door neighbor? How bad is this? 

The nurse tlod me she was going for coffee ☕ still gone, and the other nurse comes in with no gown, no face screen, just glove's, changes a bottle, and out she goes. What the heck???

The curtains open still, the curtains only for privacy, will not stop bugs, I just don't get this. 

The nurse goes into the private room, gowns up, we are right beside this room, it has a glass glass sliding door, huge, the wall is about 16feet, all glass and a door at one end is about 1/2 the wall. This door is always open a bit, and the patient has been in for 6 weeks his wife said to me yesterday, as he got this lung infection, and has been a long haul clearing it up, he still can't breath on his own. 

 My thoughts are is this what we are headed for? I know not positive thinking, but is my thought now. I have to use my password to get into my phone now, gloves won't let my finger print work. Small thing, but just another change.

I'm afraid to leave now, as I don't know what it will be like to come back in. I don't like this, nurse still gone, I never paid too much attention to this before, but now I wonder what the heck is going on. 

I can't imagine what Ciara's reaction will be. 

Chris is moving his head side to side, calmly, kind of restless. 

Polly's here now, told hang her purse here, not on the chair, the chairs are for us to chart! Bossy nurse I'm thinking, I don't like the way she is. 

The nurse helps her get dressed, I'm now feeling upset, I talk with Polly after she gets in the room, I'm sorry for her, she is accepting, I'm upset. I tell her I just don't get it. This change just doesn't make sense. 

I tell Polly I got to go pee, and have lunch, maybe it will help. She says, yes that might be it. So off I go, I ask the nurse what is the reason as I leave, she tells me it's a super bug, and it's all over the hospital. Now I'm getting really upset, so upset she can see, asking if I want to talk to the charge nurse. I say no, it won't help, it's me. 

I leave, bathroom and lunch, after I realized I have to go back, I just have to see if I can deal with this. I get in after waiting for them to ok I can come in. I talked with myself outside, try to keep it together, for Polly, for Chris. As I get to the nurse she started explaining this bug, so I ask her about the bug, she stays by saying Chris might have had it on him when he came in! 😳 Now I'm fuckin mad, so I back her up to her language, she is now trying to tell me it's in the community, I say what, you said all around the hospital, now expanded to the community, I'm now just fuckin vibrating, what are you telling me? Would you like to speak to the, no I don't want to talk with anyone, I just don't get it I say, when I first got here today all was good, then a new tube machine, the guy explaining that this happens after 7days on vent. Ok, I get that this one gives more moisture in the tube. 

Ok that just a change, be ok. But I tell him and the nurse, it just feels like we going backwards, that we are getting new machines, not closer to getting the tube out. 

Next I'm told by the nurse, we getting change due to the bug Chris has, called it a superbug, we going to have to wear protection called it PPE, I didn't realize it meant we have to be gown, face screen, latex glove's, and if I use my phone, it will have to be cleaned after I come out. 

I'm very upset now, I told the nurse this makes no sense, curtain wide open, nothing to protect the people passing by, bugs all over she says, and here we are all PPE for what, what's changed since yesterday? Just now you know it's a super bug? I got to leave I tell her, I can't stay, this I just don't get. She asked again, do I want to talk to her, and I cut her off, will it Change This? As I wave my arm, she says no. 

So I left, I'm still so upset. 

I slept in the waiting room, I regrouped, and after Ciara came in and we talked, I went back in, was better this time, I apologize to the nurse, she says I have right to get upset. I vist Chris with Polly till Ciara comes back. Dinner now, Ciara takes the evening shift we decide. Was a nice dinner, and hopefull again. 

Today's start, I sit in the waiting room again, Another 20 minutes please, nurse doing an assessment. And on it goes.

Positive thoughts 🤗❤️ Ciara's back, that helps, we are one day closer to Chris waking up, all will be good 👍🤗